Monday, April 30, 2012

When I See a Little Light

I was whining on Facebook, and a 1L classmate mentioned that Capital University is not totally out of the question as far as driving-distance from where I may be getting a job.  The only hurdle I could see is that they require a 2.75 gpa to transfer in.

Not a problem with my current gpa.  I've got about a 3.1.  However, with the grades I'm anticipating for this coming semester, this could be a challenge.  I have to get a tick higher than a 2.4 to have a cumulative of 2.75. 

That's not impossible, but again, given what I've been up against this past semester, it's going to be a more difficult feat than it should be.  However, there's also a shot at redemption if I don't get there.  Capital will let you transfer and to graduate, you need to finish 45 credit hours, there.

Which means I can keep going at UT until I get my GPA up.  So, I could take a class here and there until I get over the 2.75 number. 

As for the Fall, I think I can stay at UT and take at least six credit hours, which keeps me moving towards graduation and keeps the student loans at bay another semester.  Looking over the schedule, if they'll let me, my best bet is to try and take all flex classes.  For the most part, they are 1 credit hour classes that meet over a long weekend.  If I had to take a half-day off for drive-time, I'd be looking at only a handful of vacation days all told. 

I don't want to miss out on the chance to take some credit hours, but I don't want to overcommit if I'm going to be starting a new job, either.  I can knock out flex hour classes pretty easily. 

After the Fall semester, I should have a good idea of whether I can get telecommuting at work, and/or whether I will have the gpa to transfer to Capital.

Speaking of GPA, I feel okay about my prospects of passing crimlaw.  Need to study a little more and the exam is at 1:00 this afternoon.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Damage Control, What comes next?

I feel pretty good about my prospects in Crim Law. The long weekend should be enough to get me prepared for the exam on Monday. I also will need to get some Contracts in there, too, since I'll only have Tuesday and Wednesday to prepare for that.

I actually didn't feel that bad about my Property exam (taken on Tuesday.) I know I missed a lot of points, but I think I have a shot at getting a C. Unfortunately, the more I talk about the exam with fellow students, the worse it looks for me. I missed a lot of major issues.

That's my lowered expectations for this semester. My life has pretty much been a disaster since March. Everything that could go wrong, did, pretty much beyond my most horrifying nightmares.

On the bright side, everything seems to be okay with my son. I also am not experiencing any health issues. So, thanks for small mercies, I guess.

I just don't know what's going to happen after this, but ever since March, my time-frame for planning has shortened considerably. Most days, I am just trying to get through the day.

I can't help but feel that I'll have a couple of classes from this Spring semester that I'll need to re-take. I also may have to drop out and get a job. I don't know if, when or how I'll finish law school at this point. That's just something that's largely out of my control.

I do wish I could continue law school. Even if I had to repeat two classes, that would still mean I successfully completed 8 of my 10 1L classes. Yeah, that means taking Summer classes, or taking classes beyond the proscribed 3 years, but there are worse things in the world. On the bright side, I feel confident that I got a passing grade in Research and Writing and I feel pretty sanguine about the possibility of pulling out a passing grade in a couple of my other classes.

Today is sorta nice. I feel like I did well enough on Constitutional Law to pass. The exam finished up at noon. I'm already jumping on Criminal Law. Now, I'm finally in the swing of things.

I would say there's about a 50/50 shot that I passed Property. However, I feel pretty good about Constitutional Law, the exam I took today.

I think I'm in good shape for Crim Law based on what I see here, and the fact that I have 3 full days before the exam.

I need to allocate some of that time to Contracts, and I think I can pass that, too.

So, all in all, trying to thread the needle. Maybe I'll get through with only Property to repeat. It's not that it was hard stuff to master. It's just that it's hard to focus and stay current when the events in your life have kept you from sleeping more than a couple of hours a night since late February.

I'll need a liberal dose of luck this time around. I truly am testing the question: "how bad can an exam be and still get a C." No offense to my classmates, but I sure wish there were a lot more dumb ones. This curve is seriously tough. I've already seen how tough it is to try to break into the better grades. Now, I'm going to see how hard it is to stay out of the bottom ones.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

WTF is going on?

Okay, a brief break during finals to explain a little of what is going on in my life.

First, I may not be back next semester.  When I started this law school thing, it was sort of on a wing and a prayer.  Held together with duct-tape and chicken wire.  I really needed things to go well in other parts of my life for me to be able to do this.  Fall semester, everything went pretty well.  I was able to devote a lot of time to school.  Did fine with grades.  Was in no real danger of flunking anything.

Spring semester, without going into too many details, has been a disaster in every imagineable way, other than two important ones.  Knock on wood, but my health is still good, and my son is still doing well.  Pretty much everything else in my life got in serious trouble after January first.  Again, don't want to go into too many details, but it was, without doubt, one of the most trying times of my life.  Pretty much everything that could go wrong for me, did.  It was utterly horriffic.

Starting early in March, I wasn't able to sleep.  Really, not until about mid-April when I finally got a little luck and things got a little more under control.  So, I'm still sleep deprived.  It's been difficult to find time to devote to school with all the other fires I've had to put out in my life.  Since March 1, I've been completely exhausted, totally stressed out, sleep-deprived.

The smart thing to do would probably have been to withdraw from all my classes.  I went into finals completely unprepared.  Realistically, I will have difficulty passing any classes.

In the final analysis, though, I figure I'll just cram what I can, take the exams I can take, and see if I pass any of them.  Even if I only pass 2 classes, that's still 2 more than dropping everything.

So, what does the future hold?  Right now, I'm not that sure I'll be back in the Fall.  For one thing, it's entirely likely I'll get into some academic trouble after this semester.  Might be put on probation or kicked out, or whatever.  At a minimum, I will probably have to repeat a couple of classes.  So, things aren't good on the academic front.

I'm also looking for a job, which is problematic in this economy.  Though, I may have a line on a job down in Dayton.  We'll see.  After so many years of trying to keep the business afloat during this recession, it'd be welcome to have a steady paycheck again.  This particular job is one I'd have wanted after law school, anyway.

If I get that job, I guess I could try to transfer down to U of Dayton or Ohio Northern law.  Who knows.  The idea of spending 5 more years getting my degree, part-time, isn't very appealing, in all honesty.

So, that's what's been going on.  It's not been a great few months and everything just became way too much.  The irony is that all these things that I don't like, and that largely I can't help, intruded on one of the parts of my life that I do like, and that I do have some control over:  law school.

It's just that sometimes, the tank is empty and you just don't have anything left.  As things stand, I'm shooting for Cs, and anything higher would be a miracle.  Also, I'm very, very ready to get grades lower than a C based on how I've prepared. 

In my life in general, I think after all these years, you just get sorta stubborn and get a determination that quitting just isn't an option.  I have a son to think about and take care of.  Everything else is a mess, but who knows.  It's not impossible that I could straighten everything out before I die, but it just might take that long.

At this point, for perhaps the very first time in my life, I set a goal every morning of making it through to bedtime.  More than that?  It's just too much to think about and is too overwhelming. 

I know I'll be right as rain someday.  However, I know that it won't be any day soon.  I also don't know how I'll do it. 

Ya just pull up your bandana and cowboy up.  That's what cowboys do.

All in all, it's sort of funny to think that 1L is over.  What a year!  Went by so very quickly.  I wish the stars would align to let me finish this thing out.  Just don't know how I'd make that happen, but who knows.